To say the last few months have been emotional and rough would be the understatement of the century.
I have a lot of updates in regards to our process to make and they are not easy to say.
I have a lot of updates in regards to our process to make and they are not easy to say.
We actually found out in November that we were finally expecting our sweet baby #2. After 27 months of prayer, shots, "menopause", a biopsy, surgery, birth control (I know that sounds pretty weird when you're actually trying to get pregnant) and getting several non helpful diagnosis regarding my fertility issues we FINALLY got a positive test!!!
Sadly, we found out in December that our little Norman wasn't growing and I had to have a D&C 4 days before Christmas.
I posted this link to give you all the details. I actually started that blog post the day we found out we were expecting and kept up with it weekly so I wouldn't forget anything. I never want to forget.
I posted this link to give you all the details. I actually started that blog post the day we found out we were expecting and kept up with it weekly so I wouldn't forget anything. I never want to forget.
After the D&C they ran some pathology to make sure everything was okay, including some genetic testing.
When I went in for my post-op I expected to get my prescription for birth control and be on my way until my HCG levels were back down to normal. I got my prescription, but they also told me my pathology came back "abnormal."
They said everything could be fine but "worse case scenario" was it could be a molar pregnancy which have a possibility of turning into choriocarcinoma. In which case I would have had to go on bc for no less than 6 months and possibly chemo after that and wouldn't be able to start trying again for another year.
They said right now there was no way to tell if it was molar until the rest of my pathology (the genetic testing) came back. Genetic testing usually takes roughly 6 weeks, meaning at this point I still had 4 more weeks of waiting. Until then they were just going to do weekly blood draws to watch my HCG levels.
With every bad diagnosis I've had in this office I have yet to cry in front of my doctor... until that day. I was devastated. Andrew and I had honestly thought, up to that point, it couldn't get any worse.
They said everything could be fine but "worse case scenario" was it could be a molar pregnancy which have a possibility of turning into choriocarcinoma. In which case I would have had to go on bc for no less than 6 months and possibly chemo after that and wouldn't be able to start trying again for another year.
They said right now there was no way to tell if it was molar until the rest of my pathology (the genetic testing) came back. Genetic testing usually takes roughly 6 weeks, meaning at this point I still had 4 more weeks of waiting. Until then they were just going to do weekly blood draws to watch my HCG levels.
With every bad diagnosis I've had in this office I have yet to cry in front of my doctor... until that day. I was devastated. Andrew and I had honestly thought, up to that point, it couldn't get any worse.
WOW!! Not AT ALL what I was expecting to hear. I went home that day pretty much convinced I had cancer.
The next day my nurse practitioner called with my HCG levels which had dropped significantly, which is good in regards to molar pregnancies. She also said she checked in with the pathologists in regards to my genetic tests. The pathologist had already scene that my original pathology read abnormal, so she put a rush on the genetic testing and the results showed it was not molar. PRAISE THE LORD!!!
It may sound cruel that they gave me such bad news to go home with the day before. Honestly though, I would have much rather have gotten the worst case scenario first and then heard good news than the other way around.
As of right now I am on birth control and having weekly blood drawn until my HCG levels are back down to a normal level and then I pretty much start the whole process over that we had done in the fall.
February- Endometrial Biopsy
March- Clomid (I never actually started the clomid in the fall)
In the mean time my emotions are all over the place. All it takes is a funny look and I'm in full blown ugly cry and every July due date sends me into full depression for atleast 5 minutes. I know this will pass and God is currently finding a way to use this for His glory.
Ephesians 1:11-12 (MSG)
It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eyes on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.
I've read several forums (probably too many) on how long it took people to get pregnant after a miscarriage. Some said it was really soon and some said years. I'm obviously very hopeful that we'll be in the "really soon" category, considering we're kinda already in the "years" one, but we know we are not in control.
Matthew 19:26 (NIV)
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
*AMEN*
*AMEN*
Thanks for checkin' in!!
Janelle, I am so so sorry. Praying for you and your sweet family!
ReplyDeleteOh, Janelle. My heart hurts for you. You are such a deserving family. I'm believing that you will receive your blessing(s) and will be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteOh, Janelle....I am so sorry! You and Andrew are just amazing people, and I just KNOW that God will continue to bless your family! Pregnancies can happen so quickly after miscarriage, so don't give up hope! I also went thru a D&C at 9 1/2 weeks, so I understand the assault of emotions that you are feeling. Just wanted you to know how loved you and Andrew (and OF COURSE Hadley!) are! Praying for all of you guys!
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