Friday, March 16, 2012

Show Us Your Life {Going through Infertility}

For those of you who have been following my blog you may have heard me talk about my struggle with secondary infertility.  Today I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner to connect with others going through the same battle.

I say "secondary" infertility because we do have a sweet little 2 year old girl, Hadley.
Although getting pregnant with her was no walk in the park, we never had a diagnosis.  We were never officially "trying" but I had been off birth control for about 20 months before I "accidently" got pregnant.

In August of 2010 we decided to start trying (this time officially) for baby #2. 

Here's our timeline:
August 2010 started trying.
March 2011 Annual OB/GYN appointment. Told her we were trying she said to do the counting method (the 12th day after first day of cycle).
June 2011- I called OB/GYN about a very bad pain in my lower left abdomen.  They told me it was probably a cyst and not to worry just take Ibuprofen.
July 2011- I called to set-up appointment to see what our issues were as we still were not pregnant.  They told me to give it another month and "have fun with it."  =)
August 2011- I called and they set up an appointment for September.
September 2011- Appointment day came and my doctor told me (based on what I told her my cycles were like) that I was fine and I was probably just missing it.  She also told me to do 3 more months of ovulation tests and then she would set up another appointment.  I went home completely devastated and aggravated. 
Later that day I called back and told them I would do the tests but I was not satisfied with only doing that.  I wanted to be more proactive.  They informed me my only option at this point would be to start the testing for Andrew (which all came back fine).
November 2011- I finally decided to set up an appointment with a fertility specialist, Dr. Clark Bundren.
December 2011- I had a complete breakdown, I cried for probably 4 days straight and lost about 5 lbs in those same 4 days.  I finally started blogging about our struggle and it was amazing.  I instantly felt the weight lifted off me with all the responses and messages I was getting back.  By the end of the day I had 40 messages in my inbox and 30+ on the link on my facebook wall.  God worked on my heart that day and I woke up the next morning with an overwhelming sense of peace.
December 13, 2011- Appointment day came and they did the works.  I had an ultrasound which confirmed a pretty bad case of polycystic ovary syndrome.  He said there were probably 30-40 on each ovary.  They also did lots of lab work and set-up my diagnostic laproscopic surgery for endometriosis.
January 13, 2012- I had my laproscopic surgery which confirmed Stage 3 endometriosis and I also had an endometrioma on my left ovary.
January 23, 2012- Post-op appointment we discussed my further treatment which was the Lupron shots that they planned to start in February.  These shots help to treat the endo as well as PCOS because they basically stop the production of estrogen to the point you no longer ovulate or have a menstrual cycle.  (Essentially putting you into menopause.)
February 2012- Started my shots.  I will receive one every month through July.  The months of August and September I will be on birth control to help "jump start" my hormones again.
The shots are taking some getting used to but I think I'm going to make it.
October 2012 we should be set to start trying again, Lord willing.

This last year and a half has been a struggle for me both physically and emotionally.  It seems as though everyone around me is getting pregnant (no lie they really are) and I'm having hot flashes and night sweats with the rest of the 50 year old women.  I know God's timing is perfect but it's not always easy to wait especially since I'm not a very patient person.

Through this I have found much comfort in prayer and a book that a girlfriend sent me, Baby Hunger, by Beth Forbus.  I would strongly recommend both.  =)
I am about to start another book that the same girlfriend sent me called, Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake.

I would also like to say, I love my daughter with every fiber of my being and I will say it hurts when people use that against me in this situation.  Just because I want another child by no means is me saying I don't love the child I have already been blessed with.  Infact its the opposite.  BECAUSE I love her so much and she means the world to us I would love nothing more than more of that feeling and love.  I want more of those sweet hugs and kind words that comes from someone so innocent they say it only because they really feel that way.
I feel so blessed to have her in my life and I know without a doubt God gave her to us to help us get through this time.  I couldn't imagine going through this without her.

Thanks for checkin' in!!
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  1. WOW! That is quite the timeline. I think it's so great you're sharing your struggle. I look forward to reading more about your journey. You and your sweet family are in my prayers! :-)

  2. I feel like I could have written this story 9 yrs. ago. We'd achieved our 1st son with the help of Dr. Bundren (same diagnosis, same protocol), and were working on #2 with little success. We had moved away by then, so I wasn't with Dr. B anymore. It is so hard when you feel criticized for so desperately wanting #2. Although I do remember when trying for #1 what I wouldn't do for JUST ONE. But I think God is purposeful in giving us that deep desire for another child. And whether He accomplishes that through another pregnancy or adoption is irrelevant. Your desire is valid and the heartbreak you have with each new cycle is valid. But trust in His bigger and better plans for you. While it was all so difficult (we finally had another son, then after 2 heartbreaking years and multiple miscarriages, a 3rd son, and to top it off, a surprise baby girl completing our family at 6 :) I wouldn't change anything about the way God worked it all out for our good. Blessings on this journey--


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